In this post: The title says it all. Except 'pettiest' could easily be exchanged for 'funniest'. These two mothers are definitely acting like children, but their mean-spirited notes have a deeper meaning.
Category: Black in America
Ramiah Recommended?
Yes! This is one of the easiest yeses I have ever given.
Okay, so I'm not trying to end Black History Month on a petty note... but this story is just too great to not include.
The strength of this title starts with its premise: two mothers trade letters to each other using their kids' backpacks as the messaging vehicle. The thing is - the letters get more and more offensive (despite saying their words mean no offense) with each turn. Doctorate credentials and authorship of books that weren't present in the first correspondence become the new signoffs.
This story was SOOO funny. There were multiple times when I was laughing out loud or my jaw dropped from the sheer craziness of this story.
Once I got past the humor's shock-value, however, I start to see the true layers of this story.
For one, it anecdotally demonstrates how personal childrearing is, but also how certain environments (eg. school and parent associations) make it more a more commual experience. We see through Monica and Lucinda's messages that the tight-knit parent association and how active both of them are in their child's school performance allows for each mother to be observant about the events of the other as they interact in the school. It's a really interesting intersection of worlds that we get to explore through a only few paragraphs of each letter.
The other thing that's interesting here -- the characters using children to pass these notes. I imagine Chrissy (Lucinda's daughter) and Fatima (Monica's daughter) saying 'my mom wants you to give this note to your mom' every day at this fictional school, and these letters begin as vile as they are, making the whole thing even funnier. There's irony in having their children do the dirty work as they engage in pretty childish behavior themselves.
I saw this most in the final correspondence (no spoiler here - you'll have to read it to find out!). Let's just say (and bringing in the theme of silence from my last review, featuring Audre Lorde), money is one of the ultimate silencers.
Another piece that struck me in this work: the classic debacle of skinfolk/kinfolk. Lucinda and Monica are two (and seemingly, the only two) Black mothers at the PWI elementary school their daughters attend. Monica notably calls out that she would not like to be trading degrading letters black and forth from the only woman she thought her and her daughter would be able to share cultural experiences with at the school. Lucinda's response made me think of how much race plays a role in how we (social beings as a whole, but particularly Black people) seek belonging - do we use it focus on it to bring us together or do we minimize it so as to not stand out and stand apart?
Of course, there's no single answer, as that would be a generalization. That being said, it's something that wasn't addressed in this piece and I think it was intentionally done. There are different approaches to that answer in the story as there are in reality. Sometimes, as is true in the story's ending, one just has to work through that conflicting territory.
Ramiah Reflects
Questions to Ask Yourself (and answer!):
Do you enjoy petty stories? If so, what about them makes them so entertaining?
What was the last 'skinfolk, not kinfolk' experience you encountered? How did you navigate that situation?
How do you deal with childish behavior (personally or from others)? Do you respond in kind or do you rise above it?
Food for Thought:
Saying "I'm not going to respond" is definitely a response, especially when that person goes on to respond 🤣
Ramiah's Re-read When
Re-read when:
You just need a good laugh
You need to deal with immature behavior
You are working through an interesting social dynamic
(no book notes this time, folks!)
Check out my other posts and book notes here.
Until next time!
Montana Houston
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