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Writer's pictureMontana Houston

How to Buy that New Car or Rent that New Apartment + Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher and William Ury

In this post: Occasions to use this go-to negotiation guide. The quick answer: for everything.


Category: Success


Ramiah Recommended?

Yes! I had to read this book for my new role, but its lessons easily apply to every aspect of my life (I'm sure will be true for you, too). Whether you are negotiating the price of your new car or home with a seller, a pay raise with your supervisor, or even the safety of hostages with a terrorist, you will find help in this book!


This book has been one of the go-to books for MBA students, but anyone can benefit from this, especially new grads - learn these skills before we need them.


As you may recall in my About Ramiah Reads When blog post (you can find that here), the more practical the book, the better. This book is the quintessential practical book. I mean, even strategies for situations I do not imagine myself in (i.e. negotiating with criminals) were helpful. If you are wary of negotiating - out of fear of saying the wrong thing, out of fear of rejection, or out of a similar fear - you will want to be equipped with the tools of these professionals.


The best part: this is an ethical guide. The authors do not believe in, and explicitly discourage, misleading or lying to the other party and using dirty negotiation tips. This practice increased my appreciation for the strategies provided because the authors had my respect. If a similar attitude matters to you, you will enjoy this book.


In example:

If you want to influence them, you also need to understand empathetically the power of their point of view and to feel the emotional force with which they believe in it… to accomplish this task you should be prepared to withhold judgement for a while as you 'try on' their views. They may well believe their views are 'right' as strongly as you believe yours are - Roger Fisher and William Ury 40

There isn't really too much more to say with this one, I highlighted almost every word of every page because there is that much actionable content. The main things you want to remember is to focus on interests, see the other side as a partner, and do not give in to positional bargaining or hard tricks of the other side. You can do it!



Ramiah Reflects

My New Favorite Life Quotes:

  • "So long as you remain respectful and attentive to people issues, you should be able to strengthen a relationship even as you disagree about substance" - Roger Fisher and William Ury

  • "Face the problem, not the people" - Roger Fisher and William Ury

  • "Negotiating hard for your interests does not mean being closed to the other side's point of view" - Roger Fisher and William Ury


Questions to Ask Yourself (and answer!):

  • Do you take positions when bargaining?

  • How can you bring your and your counterparty's focus to your shared interests?

  • How can you invent options for mutual gain in your next negotiation?


Food for Thought:

  • Build relationships with those you often negotiate with. Get lunch and get to know each other. It results in trust, understanding, respect, and possible friendship. New negotiations will be smoother and more efficient.

  • Separate people in the negotiation from the problem you are negotiating about. Blame the issue on the problem, not the people.

  • Look at negotiating as a problem you are tackling with the other party and not against the other party. What are some ways you can work together? (Hint: look at shared interests)


Ramiah's Re-read When

Re-read when:

  • You need reminder of what principled negotiation and why you should use it

  • You need a reminder to separate people from the problem

  • You need a reminder to not use positional bargaining

  • You need a reminder that the other person (who you are negotiating with (is a person, too)

  • You need to look at interests and you need examples

  • You need to deal with positional bargainers, those who use tricky negotiation tactics, or manipulative negotiators

  • You need examples for how to invent options for mutual gain, including leading your own brainstorming session

  • You need reminders of what serves as objective criteria

  • You are dealing with negotiators who are more 'powerful,' or have more leverage in the situation, than you

  • You are dealing with negotiators who do not want to negotiate

  • You have questions about negotiation

See below for my book notes:

Check out my other posts and book notes here.


Until next time!

Montana Houston

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