In this post: A harrowing portrait of a Black woman's struggle with self-worth - a must read.
Category: Black in America + Short Story Collection
From Office of Historical Corrections
Ramiah Recommended?
Yes! It's so interesting how many topics this short story covers in the span of 10 pages. Each time I reread it, I notice something new or have commentary on a different topic.
The story covers a Black girl named Lyssa. While working in the gift shop of a Titanic replica tourist attraction, she's recruited to be in a music video on site. Her coworker, Marissa, is often recruited for events - usually to perform as a princess for birthday parties. Lyssa thinks this is her princess moment... only to find out she's recruited as a background actor because the director is attracted to her. In many ways, this causes her to reflect on the value, or lack thereof, of Black women and how she has felt unworthy in other parts of her life.
This question of the worth of Black women is the most interesting theme I found within the piece. Most notably why it's a question at all. When Marissa finds out that Lyssa was recruited for the video, she says, in not such nice terms, that probably happened because the director wants a sexual encounter with Lyssa. Why isn't it that Lyssa was recruited truly of her own merit, why was it that her worth was reduced to her sexual attraction?
Worse, Marissa's thoughts were confirmed - the director did want a sexual encounter with Lyssa: "But the director did, apparently, also want to f*** her, though it seemed as much an afterthought as anything, the kind of whim that came to the kind of man who always wanted to f*** somebody" (pg 2). It seemed that Lyssa's feelings of low-self worth were confirmed by this director and Marissa being right. When Lyssa agreed to the sexual encounter, she seemed to commit to the idea that her low-self worth was true. The director was the confirmation.
This sexual encounter is an interesting mirror to Lyssa's treatment by doctors as she visited and attempted to advocate for her dying mother. Lyssa noted: "Whatever information they weren’t going to give her, whatever medicine they didn’t bother trying on Black women, she would have to ask to get, would have to ask for directly so that it went in the file if they refused, but ask for without seeming stupid or aggressive or cold" (pg 4). She had to poise herself through her facial expressions, clothing, and tone to garner the respect she believed a white woman would receive. Showing up as her true self wouldn't communicate her worthiness to receive the information necessary to save her mother's life. Yet, when she "plugged in her blow-dryer and styled her hair. She put on a change of clothes, a muted-berry lipstick, and a sweep of mascara. When the doctor in charge of rounds came back, he looked at her as if seeing her for the first time" (pg 4). This panged my heart.
There have been several times, especially in my academic career, where I have felt that I had to show up a certain way to gain respect. Not only by how I looked but how I acted - sitting in the front of the class, doing more than the assignment required, going to office hours - all to be seen. Reading the changes Lyssa made to herself to communicate she was worthy of respect or worthy of being treated as a person with value made me reflect on my own journey.
This short story is worth the read for that alone.
Ramiah Reflects
My New Favorite Life Quotes:
(No life quotes this time!)
Questions to Ask Yourself (and answer!):
How do you communicate your worth? Do you feel you don't need to? Why or why not?
How has the way you communicate your worth change over time?
Food for Thought:
How do we see the worth in other people? How can we do better?
Ramiah's Re-read When
Re-read when:
You want to reflect on your journey to self-worth
You want to reflect on how you may read self-worth in others
You want to revisit or learn (and for some of us, relive) the experiences of Black women
See below for my book notes:
(no book notes this time!)
Check out my other posts and book notes here.
Until next time!
Montana Houston
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