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The Best Book for Lady New Grads + Lean In for Graduates by Sheryl Sandberg

Writer's picture: Montana HoustonMontana Houston

Updated: Mar 30, 2022

In this post: Infinite arguments that encourage you to start your post-grad life with this book. Actionable advice in almost every area possible, from crushing your first job to negotiating raises to being bold and leaning in on all occasions, as the title suggests. If you can ignore Sandberg's shameless self-plugs, this book will truly spark your professional development journey.


Category: Finding Yourself + Post College



Ramiah Recommended?

Yes! Lean in for Graduates was actually the first book I read post-college, and man, did I need it. Ranging from statistics that will wake me up to the opportunities and risks of being a woman in the workplace to practical strategies I can implement, this book is definitely one I will be returning to for all my professional development needs.

The book begins with some well-researched, hard facts. "A meager twenty-three of the Fortune 500 CEOs are women. Women hold about 15 percent of executive officer positions, 17 percent of board seats, and constitute 19 percent of our elected congressional officials. The gap is even worse for women of color, who just 4 percent of top corporate jobs, 3 percent of board seats, and 5 percent of congressional seats" (pg 41). Women have not and are not leaning in - from the corporate office to the election ballot. Sheryl Sandberg and several guest writers offer poignant advice to curtail this phenomenon for women right as we enter the workforce.


I kid you not, the number of notes I took for this book (as you can see in my book notes posted below) is a depiction of how much VALUE I gained from this book. I felt like it helped me plan out my life - chapters suggestion to 'not leave before you leave,' 'don't choose between motherhood and a career you love,' and looking forward to a 'jungle gym career path, not ladder' gave me advice that will serve me in the long term and years before I needed it.


This book is empowering, and my favorite reads where those by guest authors (including Booz Allen Hamilton Consultant Mindy Levy, former Morgan Stanley Financial Analyst Kim Keating, and my favorite of all, CEO and President of Ariel Investments Mellody Hobson). I actually wrote Ms. Hobson a letter thanking her for the wisdom she bestowed - no response yet, but my fingers are crossed.

The guest writers represented many racial, economic, and professional backgrounds. A man, Kunal Modi, even wrote chapter encouraging other men to allow and push their companies to provide women seats at the table. I acquired solid role models, especially models who look like me and come from a similar demographic, from reading this book and was encouraged to take action and hit the ground running toward my aspirations like never before.

You don't have to 'do it all,' you don't need to be part of the 'old boys club,' you don't have to have everything figured out. These were all concerns I had, and walking into my first job with that is a heavy weight. My move to SF alone has been giving me stress and I haven't even moved yet. This type of energy, especially when applied to my career, is doing me no favors.

Remember that your first job is just… your first job - Mindy Levy (pg 235)

Did you just feel that catharsis too? I'm telling you, this book provides advice that everyone needs and ten-fold. By being bold and not limiting ourselves (leaning in, in other words), our careers will reach new heights.


Despite my high praise for this book, I did not jive with all the experiences women are said to feel in their careers. Claims of being underconfident, habitually playing it safe, and inspirational were things I haven't really experienced. Perhaps it is because I am still early in my career or because I have clear sights on my ambitions, but some things read as 'one size fits all' across the book. I encourage any other readers to take what speaks to them and turn a critical eye to advice that doesn't. However, this book overall will restore and bolster anyone's confidence to go out there and seize their career today.


There were several shameless self-plugs by Sandberg and some guest writers for her Lean In Circles found on her website that I usually condemn, but honestly, I could not be mad at it. The book was so personally fulfilling, and I plan to join a circle as soon as COVID cools down a bit to continue my personal growth post-reading this book. I think the excerpts I include in the Ramiah Reflects section speak for themselves.

If you need amazing tips for succeeding at first (and every) job from negotiating pay to informational interviews, reminders to love yourself and be confident in everything you do, and strength in taking risks and breaking all barriers that usually exist for women in the workplace, this is your book. Don't delay reading it any further.


Ramiah Reflects

My New Favorite Life Quotes:

  • "Opportunities are rarely offered; they're seized" - Sheryl Sandberg

  • "Think personally, act communally" - Sheryl Sandberg

  • "If you're offered a seat on a rocket ship, you don't ask what seat. You just get on" - Eric Schmidt

  • "The antiquated rhetoric of 'having it all' disregards the basis of every economic relationship: the idea of trade-offs… Due to the scarcity of this resource, therefore, none of us can 'have it all,' and those who claim to are most likely lying" - Sharon Poczter

  • "Success is making the best choices we can and accepting them… The secret is there is no secret - just doing the best you can with what you've got" - Sheryl Sandberg

  • "Participate fully… with humility combined with confidence" - Mellody Hobson

  • "This is who I am and I have value. I hope you will accept it, but if you don't I'm still good with who I am" - Mellody Hobson

  • "Most of the time, there's no gain in calling attention to the last idea. It only keeps you from thinking up the next" - Mellody Hobson

  • "Lick your wounds, cry your eyes out, but then get back out there" - Rachel Simmons

  • "When you have a dream and a desire, it is like an alarm clock going off inside you. Hitting the snooze button doesn't work; the alarm will just go off again. Eventually, you have to wake up" - Regina Agyare

  • "Sweet and upbeat can coexist with assertive. I didn't change who I was; I added to who I was" - Kim Keating


Questions to Ask Yourself (and answer!):

  • What are my long term dreams and eighteen-month plans?

  • How can I improve?

  • What I am/am not willing to do? What are my work limits?

  • What's the worst that can happen? Can I live with that (also think about the best thing that can happen)?

  • How much would I like to make and how much would be enough? How much does the company need me?


Food for Thought:

  • Go against the rules. "'I learned to keep my hand up…' I had said that I would take only two more questions. I did so, then she put her hand down, along with all the other women. But several men kept their hands up. And since hands were still waving in the air, I took more questions - only form the men" (pg 42).

  • Sandberg promotes women 'think personally, act communally' here's why: "Women must come across as being nice, concerned about others, and 'appropriately' female. When women take a more instrumental approach ('this is what I want and deserve'), people react far more negatively" (pg 52).

  • See your career as a jungle gym. "Jungle gyms offer more creative exploration… there are many ways to get to the top of a jungle gym. The jungle gym model benefits everyone, but especially women who might be starting careers, switching careers, getting women who might be starting careers, switching careers, getting blocked by external barriers, or reentering the workforce after taking time off. The ability to forge a unique path with occasional dips, detours, and even dead ends presents a better chance for fulfillment" (pg 64).

  • Apply even if you don't think you meet all the requirements. "Women worry too much about whether they currently have the skills they need for a new role… many abilities are acquired on the job… An internal report at Hewlett-Packard revealed that women only apply for open jobs if they think they meet 100 percent of the criteria listed. Men apply if they think they meet 60 percent of the requirements." 66

  • Women must help women. "'There's a special place in hell for women who don't help other women… when women voice gender bias, they legitimize it… women internalize disparaging cultural attitudes and then echo them back. As a result, women are not just victims of sexism, they can also be perpetrators" 158

  • Women of color must be aware of the odds stacked against us so we are better equipped against them. "Women of color must overcome "double jeopardy," the one-two punch of sexism and racism" 173

  • Every failure, especially in negotiation, is a learning experience. "I did not win every negotiation. None of do. But, win or lose, you learn something every time you advocate for yourself. You learn which tactics work and which fall flat. You learn how to convince others that treating you fairly is not just in your interest, but in theirs. You learn how to articulate your skills and strengths. And you learn to ask for what you want in life, which is the only way to get it." 255


Ramiah's Re-read When

  • You need a reminder to lean in, be bold, and do whatever you've been hesitating to do

  • You need a reminder to sit at the table

  • You need a reminder to embrace your awesome self

  • You need to look for a job

  • You need to negotiate for a job

  • You need mentorship advice

  • You need a reminder that you are too hard on yourself

  • You need a reminder to show emotions sometimes. It's a reminder you're human

  • You need a reminder of facts/statistics for being a woman

  • You need to talk to a man about supporting a woman

  • You are thinking about starting a family or choosing between family and career (hint: choose both), similarly, you need to be eased about being a working mother or "career-loving parent"


See below for my book notes.


Stay safe and healthy in these trying times!


Check out my other posts and book notes here.


Until next time!

Montana Houston

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