top of page
Writer's pictureMontana Houston

A Flabby Story + "Muscle" by Daniyal Myeenuddin

Updated: Sep 28, 2022

In this post: A long story with dialogue related to a drug cartel and international love... maybe?


Category: Fast Fiction + Short Story Collection





Ramiah Recommended?

No.


The next 8 or so posts will be my take on the Longreads' "Ten Outstanding Short Stories to Read in 2022" list. You may already recognize some of them: "Prophets" and "The Hospital Where" were included on this list and were two of my previous reviews. Since I had such luck with the previous two (lol) I was curious if there were any golden stories in the chaos.


Unfortunately, this story missed the gold too, but let me tell you why.


First, some context. This story takes place in Pakistan. We follow a protagonist, Sohel Andalah, grandson of 1950's Federal Secretary Establishment Mian Abdullah Abdalah. He is dealing with a local group, called the Chandios, causing trouble in his daily life, which doesn't make him yearn for his life studying abroad in America and loving his girlfriend Karla any less.


Other than that, I couldn't tell you what this story is about. It is based in dialogue. Most of it around politicking - Sohel carefully discusses missing America to his community who are unable to even secure a visa to visit, navigating complaining about the Chandios without risking his life in the process, navigating speaking with neighbors he dislikes; essentially avoiding confrontation or speaking one's true feelings.


In example:


She glowed there across continents and oceans, competitive among prickly hyper-political graduate students, discussing Lacan, eating vegan, and proud to be broke. Seen from New York City, his feudal preoccupations must appear so crude, and he imagined her pitiless and dared not speak of his vulnerability.

This was easily one of the most interesting parts of the story - contrasting his current reality with his past desires. There's this fight between wanting to be part of the hyper-poltiicism (suggested by 'glowed') yet feeling too unqualified to do so (the 'feudal preoccupations' that are 'crude').


Along the lines of the 'will they, won't' they?', I suppose some of the short story could be dedicated to Karla and Sohel's love. When Sohel is ultimately set up to marry someone else, there's this interesting intraracial hate: "Lying in bed with Klara he would sometimes encircle her ankle with his finger and thumb and say how delicately she was built. 'You’re such a racist,' Klara had exclaimed, reassured, when he said before leaving her in America that he could never marry a Pakistani." Perhaps his past desires weren't that set in the past after all.


What I liked: There were a few beautiful images included throughout the story (like the one you see in my screenshot above) that helped visualize all the text on the page. And when I say text, I mean text. This is a long story. It's easy to get lost in the dialogue, but the text that is present is pretty detailed with imagery. Take a look below for a glimpse into what I mean:


A chill in the morning breeze reminded him that it would soon be real winter, too cold at night to sit out, and the breeze in the rosewood trees spaced around the large garden poured down and cooled and emptied the space. Fezoo came with tea, put it on the table, and stood with his hands folded.

What I didn't like: I cannot tell you what this story was about. Each paragraph of prose seemed to open a new concept or return to an unfinished one, leaving it even more unfinished as the following paragraph repeated the cycle of introducing a new theme. I just kept scrolling and scrolling hoping for some thread to pull it all together but honestly finished the story confused.


Overall, there just wasn't enough substance for me to grab onto this story. Between dancing around storylines and (although beautiful) images that weren't clearly connected to a particular scene, I just couldn't follow along.


Read the story for yourself here and let me know what you think!


Ramiah Reflects


Questions to Ask Yourself (and answer!):

  • What do you think about the themes of first world vs third world problems? IS it possible to strike a balance between the two, or does one take priority over the other?

  • What would you call hating a race from within? Is it intraracial hate, self-discrimination, xenophobia?


Ramiah's Re-read When

Re-read when:

  • You'd like to read a story based in Pakistan

  • You'd like to focus on dialogue between characters

  • You have time to read (but not enough time to read a book)


See below for my book notes:

(No notes this time, folks!)


Check out my other posts and book notes here.


Until next time!

Montana Houston

Comments


RRW Logo Updated.PNG
bottom of page