In this post: A confusing, mythical story that aces its imagery but fails its overall storytelling.
Category: Short Story Collection
Ramiah Recommended?
No. Lol, just no.
Let me try my best to summarize this story, and maybe that will tell you all you need to know.
A father and son rush to the hospital after the father feels his arm hurting. Once they arrive, the father is made to wait for a long time, and the son - frustrated -- goes around the hospital looking for some help. The son has an enhanced ability that forces him to write or he will suffer from a lot of pain - similar to making 'a deal with the devil, the son made a deal with an entity called the Twelve-tongued God that allowed the son to become a gifted writer and win contests but at the price of being at the power's will. After making another deal (for what exactly, I'm not sure), the son writes for all people ailing to be healed. It turns into people flying momentarily and dropping to the ground, in more pain than they were without the son's interference. It ends with the father being horrified by the son's actions.
If you're confused, you're not alone.
Something positive I will say before I go on, this story has good imagery.
Across from us was someone so old they didn’t really have a gender anymore and a Hispanic woman about my father’s age. I noticed a puddle beneath her seat. I didn’t know what the liquid was. Seeing it in the emergency room made me feel queasy. It could have been water.
There were many times I could visualize the story in my mind because the descriptions were so clear. I felt as equally grossed out by the Hispanic woman's puddle as the son in the story. Even though I wasn't very clear now here the story was going, I was able to focus within a scene because the environment was mostly clear.
I use 'mostly' because there were times when even the scenes felt like a bunch of things that didn't match were thrown together. In example:
As I passed the Italian family, I put my notebook, the journal, and my father’s coat down and did a cartwheel to show them that kind of thing was still possible. They looked up at me, unamused. Then they returned to their sorrowful hugs and mutterings. I picked my stuff back up. I found my father wearing a dotted hospital gown.
I don't understand how a cartwheel was meant to inspire near-mourning family members awaiting bad news. Also, the choppiness of 'cartwheel' to 'picked up my stuff' to 'found dotted hospital gown' is showing of the unharmonious way the story's events tried to flow together.
And there were also time jumps that made it even more difficult to follow. I couldn't tell when I was in the story or where.
Ultimately I cannot recommend this story, though it did seem promising for its mystical-fiction premise. If you decide to read for yourself, let me know what you think!
Ramiah Reflects
Questions to Ask Yourself (and answer!):
How much importance do you put on imagery vs plot in a story? Do you place one over another?
Ramiah's Re-read When
Re-read when:
You want to read a mystical read
You want to be a detective and figure out a story's plot
No book notes this time, folks!
Check out my other posts and book notes here.
Until next time!
Montana Houston
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