In this post: A book with surface-level advice (*cough* lecture *cough). YOU deserve better.
Category: Success
Happy 2023! Not the best book to start us off with, but we can only go up from here!
Ramiah Recommended?
No. Not unless you like basic, unoriginal advice and being lectured.
Let me start by saying that I have so much to say about this book.
Like SO MUCH.
So I decided to break this review up into categories to help us get through the information.
Overview
You Are A Badass (or, as I like to call it, YAAB) is a self-help book. Notice that I call it 'self-help' instead of my usual 'personal development' category. The reason why is that the author truly believes you are your only impediment. The solution is you simply getting yourself unstuck, out of your own 'drama', and out of your own fear.
Self-help books have a negative connotation to be preachy without substance. This book is a self-help book.
Jin Sincero is a self-described formerly-broke-turned-thriving manifesting guru who uses a repetitive framework within each chapter to convey advice to readers on many topics. The framework is: presenting the problem, listing solutions, offering personal anecdotes, and reminding readers to love themself.
The other model that is present throughout the book: repetition, (light) scolding, and privilege.
It's A Lecture...
I just randomly opened the book to "Chapter 8: What Are You Doing Here," so I'll use that as an example: the problem is being unclear on your purpose, one of the solutions includes "Take The Right First Step", one of her anecdotes for finding her purpose is having a career where she helped people but was also "forced to bathe, dress, and leave [her] house," and the final reminder was to "love yourself... like you're the only you there is."
It feels very preachy and 'you should do this; believe it, and I will keep saying it until you do'. To prove this, I have two examples for you: 1) "Love yourself more than you love your drama" from Chapter 17 (pg 148); and 2) "If you’re serious about changing your life, you’ll find a way. If you’re not, you’ll find an excuse" from Chapter 18 (pg 153). Some may say these are taken out of context, but I would say these quotes summarize the book very well.
I'm all for speaking it into existence, wishful thinking, and believing in oneself, but that's built over time. As a reader, it felt like I needed to:
be able to make an overnight change
instantly remove all the blockers that keep me from "living the life I'm excited about" in Sicero's words
have incredible willpower. and doing anything less is a problem I'm causing, that I'm the problem, or that I have inadequate self-control to not 'switch' off how I feel or the stories I've been telling myself.
Imagine how much of that thinking occurs while reading the book.
But by taking a slightly different approach, it would've been much more palatable. I would've responded MUCH better to her acknowledging that making changes will be hard, or take time, or we will fail before we succeed; providing more practical advice; or offering space for goal setting in the book.
...A Privileged Lecture...
This story feels like it comes from a place of 'have' in the have vs have-nots. I'm not saying she hasn't struggled, as her self-described broke days show - but she has also tapped into resources that are not readily available for all her readers: money to pay for professional help, a social network to provide a house for her to vacation in while she wrote her book, etc.
For example, Sicero's "Just get the damn website up already or send out the mailer or make the sales calls or book the gig even though you’re not totally ready yet"… doesn't acknowledge that resources are involved to make money moves (page 153). Some people find that motivating, or endearing, but I'm not one of them.
This book is out of touch and tone deaf.
I get that she's trying to say that something is better than nothing, or that perfection doesn't exist, but that delivery doesn't work for me. If you don't think it will work for you either, then stay away from this book. There are better books with less rebuking of an approach that have better advice. The Girl's Guide or Adulting for general topics, Millionaire Teacher for money, and a book I'll be reviewing soon called Quarterlife: The Search for Self in Early Adulthood for life purpose.
A disclaimer at the beginning of the book that acknowledges there can be things outside of one's control but solutions within every means exist could have been helpful. Instead, we get quips without consideration, which aids in their lacking substance.
If socioeconomic status prevents a reader from accomplishing their goals, then that may be considered an excuse by Sicero.
...And an Uninformed Lecture
Reminders, you all know I love a good well-researched book. While Sicero does offer many resources in the appendix of her book, it's like it is missing something. I think her advice could have been delivered better if she clearly quoted her reasoning with footnotes to studies, or if she had a professional license.
In example, I can tell the author went to therapy or uses therapy tools (i.e. 'rewrite the childhood stories you've told yourself'), but it lacks the foundation, scientific analysis, or research of a licensed and clinical professional.
YAAB *very much* feels a lot like anecdotal experience - like things that worked for her - or general mantras like "Feel sad, but don't blow it up into some huge drama" (148).
Now, there are parts of this book where there is helpful advice: "Once you know what your favorite distractions are, you can build up a good defense against them... Once you become aware of what your weak spots are, you can start to protect yourself against them." 159). But, really, it's nothing mindblowing, and everything that's more easier said than done.
The exercises are helpful, but I don't think any would foster more self-confidence and thereby self-fulfillment than what you could gain from reading another book. In fact, this book may make you feel worse about yourself.
And remember that point about professional qualifications? Yeah, here's why.
Her advice clashes with finance advice - she praises having faith in oneself in a way that could literally leave someone in debt, as she was. In one example, she bought herself a car that she couldn't afford because 1) she wanted to treat herself - which I'm all for doing, but responsibly; and 2) she wanted to force herself to manifest the money and believed that precarious situation could get her in the right mojo. And yeah, she did dig out of that situation, but because she dug herself in the hole in the first place (see page 202). She cushions this interesting tale by saying "I’m not talking about going out and recklessly blowing all your money on stupid crap. I’m talking about expanding your beliefs about what is available to you in all areas of your life" (205)... well which is it, Sicero?!
What It Should Be Instead + Cautions for Readers
Speaking of mantra, this should be treated more as a mantra book than an advice/self-help/personal development book.
It being a mantra book would address the other gripe I have: It's much too long. Much of the book is Sicero rephrasing the same lessons, or carrying anecdotes throughout chapters.
If, after reading all this, you're still intrigued to read this book, I want to especially dissuade a certain type of reader from engaging with this material.
If you're a practical reader, who need to see it to believe it, this is not the book for you. That also explains why is wasn't the book for me, haha.
It is all very much faith-based and 'believe in miracles in order to make them happen'. Chapter 2, but also throughout the book, connect core principles and advice to Source Energy (the Universe, The Force, God) and becomes the main justification to switch off one's mentality/concerns/circumstances.
In closing, I will leave you with an example that exemplifies exactly what I've talked about throughout this review in one quote:
"Stop talking about how busy you are. Focus on what you enjoy about what you do and the spaces in between the doing instead of feeling weighed down by it all. Decide that you live an awesome, relaxed life full of interesting projects that you love doing and communicate that to the world and yourself. And then go out and merrily do it" (161).
Don't read this book, you'll thank me for it.
Ramiah Reflects
My New Favorite Life Quotes:
"Everything you do along your journey contributes to where you’re going. " 76
"Our greatest fears are the greatest waste of time." 173
"Never apologize for who you are. It lets the whole world down." 182
Questions to Ask Yourself (and answer!):
(pulled from some helpful questions Sicero offered when making decisions in life, see page 64)
Is this something I want to be, do, or have?
Is this going to take me in the direction I want to go (not should go)?
Is this going to screw over anybody else in the process?"
Food for Thought:
"If you’re a waffler, or prefer to avoid the process altogether, a great thing to do is practice on the little things to build up your decision-making muscle. When eating at restaurants, make yourself pick something off the menu in under thirty seconds. Once you choose, you are unauthorized to change your mind or your order. Give yourself twenty minutes to go online and research the best garlic press and then make the purchase. Pick things off the shelves at the supermarket in under ten seconds. Knock yourself out of the habit of being a deer stuck in the headlights by demanding you wake up and choose something." 197
Ramiah's Re-read When
Re-read when:
You want to read broad advice in one place
You need some example affirmations
You need a laugh
See below for my book notes:
Check out my other posts and book notes here.
Until next time!
Montana Houston
Comments